I mean, did you miss that part where the founding fathers wrote that pesky little Constitution and included to point out in the Bill or Rights that this nation would NOT have a national religion because of all the shit that had been causing over in Europe for the past couple centuries? 

“Yes, but the founding fathers were Christian.” 

Actually, a lot of them were Deists, including the guy who actually wrote the Constitution. Some of them were Christians, certainly, but the philosophies that went into establishing our country were not inherently Christian, and a significant number of them were not proposed by Christians. 

“Yes, but the first people to come to America were pilgrims, and they were Christians. Therefore the country is built on Christianity.”

Actually, the first people to come here were the Native Americans, and I’m pretty sure Christianity wasn’t even around back then. Soooo… no. The first people to come to America really weren’t Christians. Of course, if you’re talking about the first Europeans to come to America, that also wasn’t the pilgrims. That was the Spaniards, and they didn’t come for religious reasons. They came for Imperialistic reasons. Also, the first English settlers came to the Americas for the same reason. They all got here long before the pilgrims. (I forget when the French showed up, but they were working on expanding their empire as well.) 

So, if the first people here dictate the religion of our nation, we should all be pagans. (pagan being the umbrella non-abrahamic religion term. I don’t know of a smaller umbrella term for all the religious practices and beliefs of indigenous people from the Americas) If we want to be a bit (ha! “a bit”) racist about the whole thing, then we can go with the reasons the Europeans headed over yonder, in which case, we’re an Imperialistic nation. (Oh wait… that part’s actually kinda true…)

But, of course, all this relies on the mistaken idea that people who lived hundreds of years ago have any say on what religions we practice or how we run our government, beyond the few guidelines they set us. (And even those can be gotten rid of if they no longer work. Governments change when they need to. Happens all the time.) 

And what rules did the people who set up our nation set forward? There shall be no established religion! 

Now kindly sit down and shut the fuck up.